Will Braun asked members of our group what they wanted to learn about polarization from this course. There were some interesting answers. One person said she wanted to learn to be a better neighbour. Wow, I thought. I need that too. I really need that. Isn’t that what. Jesus recommended as well? Another said, polarization was real and all around us and he wanted to learn how to live in polarized world. Another good point. One woman asked, “how do I live my pacifism in such a situation?” Good questions.  I thought.

Will Braun said he wanted us to get beyond the common attitude when discussing issues with those we disagree with, where we gnash our teeth and ask ourselves if we are polite, and asking out loud if we are not, ‘why are those people so stupid?’ Looking down on the others is rarely a good attitude to take if you want to influence others. Just ask Hillary Clinton! She found out that others don’t like a superior attitude.  I know I have to guard against such an attitude. Arrogance is often a cheap and shallow way out of legitimate discussion.

Braun said that there are those from both sides that try to impose rules about what we can and cannot discuss with the other side. Those rules are not helpful. “I want to transgress those rules,” said Braun. “Good people who want to discuss things should be able to do that without being batted around,” said Braun. Such rules make people afraid to discuss what needs to be discussed. He also said he was finding the rules that seem to suppress his ability to discuss things are becoming increasingly untenable.

I remember our last year in Arizona when we were at a late night party and were among the last 3 couples to leave. There were 2 couples and 1 American couple. The American couple lived close to us as did all of the people at the party. They were all our neighbours. I had though the American couple were staunch Trumpsters. Yet one of us asked them, in the dark of night, after all their friends were gone, most of whom were clearly staunch Trump supporters, “Do you guys like Donald Trump.” The response to the question was breathtaking in its suddenness and surprise.  The woman shouted out, “Fuck No.”  Sorry for using the bad word but it is what she said.  All her friends were Trump supporters. She and her husband were life-long Republicans, but secretly they both hated Trump and everything he stood for.

If we had followed the implicit rules about not talking politics with our American friends, as we usually did, we would never have learned that about them and how they had to stickhandle around holding these views secretly. I wondered how many others felt the same way?  We left back for Canada a couple of days later so I could not find out. That’ sad. And it comes from following the rules of decorum. If you are a good neighbour you must be able to discuss issues openly with or you will not benefit from their real views.  And you don’t get to exercise your right of free speech that way either. And usually you don’t find the truth without seeking the truth.